With summer behind us and school in full swing, those relaxed afternoons have turned into evenings of math homework. And let’s be honest, math homework help can sometimes turn into a source of stress—for both parents and kids. You’ve probably been there: you try to help, only to hear, “That’s not how my teacher showed me!” Cue the frustration.

Math today often feels different from how we learned it. When our kids get stuck, we want to jump in and offer math homework help by showing a shortcut or explaining things our way. But sometimes, that just makes things worse. One thing that’s made a big difference for me is asking a simple question: Do you need time, or do you need help?

These two options are really different. Sometimes kids just need a little time to figure things out on their own. Asking if they need time gives them the space to process without you stepping in too soon. Other times, they really do need math homework help, and asking if they need help lets them know you’re ready to guide them when they’re ready for it.

The beauty of this? It shows your child that you’re their teammate. You’re not forcing them to do math your way; you’re supporting them in finding their way. It takes some of the pressure off and turns math homework help into more of a collaboration instead of a struggle.

Every kid learns differently. Some need extra time to figure things out, while others need help connecting the dots. By asking Do you need time or help? you’re giving them control over their learning, while still being there when they need you.

Next time you’re helping with math homework, give it a try. It could help ease the tension and show your child that you’re right there with them, offering the math homework help they need to succeed—together.